Dear Mr Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin,
In keeping with the spirit of the Chinese New Year and with the mutual respect that you spoke of in your CNY message, here’s my bouquet of praises to you.
First of all, no Prime Minister but you alone, has been so outstanding in humility. You chose to lead your government through the backdoor instead of the front door.
Next, you are such an astute politician! Your declaration of “Malay First” was a first-class act, — you were putting yourself first, in your insatiable desire to be the PM.
Mr Prime Minister, you have even given a personal touch to your premiership by calling yourself “Abah” – yes, you are “Father” to all Malaysians – especially to your illegitimate children in the (illegitimate) government.
You are willing to work with anyone – “for the sake of the nation” — even with the very people who are from a party which you once denounced as corrupt – and you did it “for the sake of saving the nation”. Remember?
You have shown the Malays the true paradox of Malay politics — to achieve “Malay Unity” you have created historic Malay Disunity and to enhance “Malay Dignity” you have made corruption as your government’s SOP!
You even made yourself God’s spokesman when you declared that it was “divine will (which) has caused the three parties (Bersatu, Umno and PAS) to band together for the sake of the Malay-Muslim community’s unity.” God must have tightened the security of heaven’s backdoor after that.
You have even started a new reward system, that of government backbenchers being appointed as heads of GLCs. Obviously, you now share Najib’s sentiments when he sacked you, declaring: “I value loyal people over ‘smart people’.”
Mr Prime Minister you must be very proud of your CREATIVE CABINET — ministers who not only are adept at giving different directives and answers on the same issue on different days, but also differing from those given by other relevant ministers or authorities.
Much to the surprise of many, you have displayed the art of running the country all by yourself, by suspending parliament! Once again you have done this for the sake of the rakyat – who never voted for your government! What a work of art!
It is because of you that we will be a “First” World country. After all, Malaysia is the first and only nation in the world which has suspended her Parliament in an Emergency in the name of Covid-19.
Finally, it is very encouraging to hear that you will be the first person to be vaccinated with the Covid-19 vaccine by Pfizer – the company most famous for developing the erectile-dysfunction drug Viagra.
It will surely make you more political virile after you had lost all confidence, in the face of accusations of political impotence and of a no-confidence vote, aggravated by the increasingly dysfunctional Malay Unity in your coalition.
Never mind the worry in your party that you will you go soft and not be strong like an Ox and have a firm hold of the government and face the hard realities that you are confronted with.
In closing, indeed history will remember you as the “First” PM of Malaysia who ruled with a government that was never elected by the people, the First PM with the smallest number of MPs in his party, and the first to politically survive with an “Emergency-kit”. Congratulations